This is Paul Simon’s 50 Ways to Leave Your Lover rewritten in Ron Francis’ perspective in negotiating and trade advice. GM’s referred to are Kyle Davidson, Lou Lamoriello, Chris Drury, Kent Hughes, and Bill Zito.
"The problem is all on your roster," she said to me
"The answer is easy if you take it logically
I'd like to help with the trades that need to be
There must be fifty ways to trade your players"
She said, "It's really not my habit to propose
Furthermore, they’re really just suggestions, I suppose
But I'll repeat myself because that’s just how it goes"
There must be fifty ways to trade your players
Fifty ways to trade your players
You just gotta wait a while, Kyle
Don’t make a big poo, Lou
You don't need to piss, Chris
Just do what you will
Take what you’re lent, Kent
You don't need the resentment
Just drop off the bills, Bill
And do what you will
Ooh, you just gotta wait a while, Kyle
Don’t make a big poo, Lou
You don't need to piss, Chris
Just do what you will
Take what you’re lent, Kent
You don't need the resentment
Just drop off the bills, Bill
And do what you will
She said, "It grieves me so to see you make these trades
I wish there was something I could do to plan the parade"
I said "I appreciate that, and would you please display
All of the 50 ways?"
She said, "Why don't we just leave it for the last minute
And I believe in the morning, you'll see that we can win it"
And then she left and I realized the cap sure does have a limit
There must be fifty ways to trade your players
Fifty ways to trade your players
You just gotta wait a while, Kyle
Don’t make a big poo, Lou
You don't need to piss, Chris
Just do what you will
Oh, take what you’re lent, Kent
You don't need the resentment
Just drop off the bills, Bill
And do what you will
Ooh, you just gotta wait a while, Kyle
Don’t make a big poo, Lou
You don't need to piss, Chris
Just do what you will
Take what you’re lent, Kent
You don't need the resentment
Just drop off the bills, Bill
And do what you will
There is only one hockey musical that exists to my knowledge, and apparently it's awful (Score: A Hockey Musical starring Olivia Newton-John), but I want to be the reason for there being a generational wealth of amazing hockey musicals.