Équipe: 2022-23 Blackhawks de Chicago

Date de création initiale: 15 mars 2023

Publié: 15 mars 2023

Mode - plafond salarial: Basique

This is Finest Girl (Bin Laden Song) by The Lonely Island rewritten to illustrate Jonathan Toews’ desire to be traded out of Chicago from the perspective of Kyle Davidson

Finest trade I ever made in my whole life
Call me Bryan Adams when I cut like a knife
Knew I couldn’t trade him because of his injury
He said, "Trade me like we traded Patty Kane" (ooh, whoa)
He wasn’t in shape
He said he wanted me to trade him harder than the Blackhawks

Traded Patty Kane
Traded Patty Kane
Traded Patty Kane
He wanted me to trade him harder than the Blackhawks
Traded Patty Kane

Uh, he was a freaky kind of intrigue
Kept up with current events from all around the league
More specifically, one event
The time that Patty Kane got traded to the Rangers
He said, "Trade me like that"
But I couldn't find a trade partner
That said, I couldn’t acquire Mitch Marner
That said, again, not even a Jeff Carter
He got in a rage, I started lookin’ like a methane farter
That anger got its management
He said, "Find a way to accommodate my abandonment"
I said, "I think I’m gonna cave", but there was no stopping
He demanded that I trade him like we

Traded Patty Kane
Traded Patty Kane
Traded Patty Kane
He wanted me to trade him harder than the Blackhawks
Traded Patty Kane

This guy requested a trade to bring him to Jets
With the clinical efficiency of the trade of Patty Kane
You try to trade an injured guy (sickness)
Seems impossible on the fly (I'ma quit this)
Trade talk, it’s time for me to shine and go pro
He tried to negotiate, I said that's a no-no
Now I'm getting’ draft picks for the show though
He tells me to eat crow though, then he says I gotta
"Trade me now, you wussy"
"Gotta trade me now, you wussy"
So I did it, improvised some wacky stuff
Couldn’t get a load that would make me look tough
He said, "You've traded me, get the most for all this retention"
I yell, "Hell yes, "I have the assets to accrue some more henchmen
Then Rocky called, he said "Congratulations David"
I said, "Mr. Wirtz, I truly did what I could to save it"
He said, "Come give me the deets in the United Center
I gots to know how you traded him like we"

Traded Patty Kane
Traded Patty Kane
Traded Patty Kane
I can still say that I see the appeal
But he wanted me to trade him like we traded Patty Kane
Oh, this guy insisted that the way we traded was including stats
Just like the currently retained contract
That we traded of Patty Kane

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