This is a rendition of 96,000 from In the Heights that is rewritten to imagine what the Washington Capitals will do when the salary cap increases to 96 million.
Ted Leonsis:
96,000,000...
Peter Laviolette/Brian MacLellan:
Damn...
Ted Leonsis:
96,000,000...
Peter Laviolette:
Dollars? Holla.
Ted Leonsis:
96,000,000...
Brian MacLellan:
Yo, it’s going up!
Ted Leonsis:
96,000,000...
Brian MacLellan:
Yo...
If I had the cap space
In this age
I wouldn't bother signing sizably structured contracts
I'd find multiple guys on sale to make a larger impact
Then maybe, if you're lucky, the roster stays intact
I'll be a general manager,
More Power than Owen
As if Bettman is battlin’ me
Now I’m flowin’
My power is empowered, I'm the belle of the ball
You call me ‘three rings,’ cuz I’mma rule ‘em all
Ted Leonsis:
Oh no, there goes Mister million dollar crusher
Next thing you know, you're rhymin’ like Usher
Brian MacLellan:
Well if ya can’t talk the talk, stay outta the discussion!
Alex Ovechkin:
Yo, I rush like percussion, with origins from Russia!
Ted Leonsis:
Ooh, you'd better stop rappin'
You're not ready
It's gonna get hot and heavy and you're already sweaty-
Alex Ovechkin:
Y-y-yo-yo
Ted Leonsis:
Yo, I'm sorry, was that an answer?
Shut up, go home and pull your damn pants up!
As for you, ‘three rings’ of Middle Earth, 96 mill ain’t enough to give birth
Brian MacLellan:
I'll have enough to sign Sidney Crosby to term!
Ted Leonsis:
Sounds like your delusions became an earworm!
Peter Laviolette:
96,000,000!
Tom Wilson:
Ay, I’m suspended!
Peter Laviolette:
96,000,000!
John Carlson/Nicklas Backstrom:
We have to stay!
Peter Laviolette:
96,000,000!
Rasmus Sandin:
I never win s***!
Peter Laviolette:
96,000,000!
Brian MacLellan:
For real, though,
Imagine having the jackpot we got
Going down the ice like a slapshot
From the blueline
And no symphony of injury history
For real, though, the jackpot we got is unreal
And we'll throw the biggest Cup parade for real
It's a weekend when we can breathe, go by feel
Fans:
Yo! ma, it's me, buy my tickets!
Nicklas Backstrom:
Check one two three what would you do with 96 mill?
John Carlson:
Who, me?
Nicklas Backstrom:
I mean, if it's just a hypothetical thrill-
John Carlson:
Hey, man, it’s tricky!
Nicklas Backstrom:
I know!
John Carlson:
With 96 mill,
I'd start my life in Beverly Hills
Then get hooked on drugs and pills
Nicklas Backstrom:
And some pickles of dill-
John Carlson:
Or maybe just a refill...
Rasmus Sandin:
Y'all are chill
Ted Leonsis:
Yo, I'm just sayin...
It's silly when we get into
These crazy wack conclusions
You really want some bread
Then don’t submit to your delusions
I can make you brand new and come through
With the 96 mill I know precisely what to do
Rasmus Sandin:
What are you doing?
Ted Leonsis:
What am I doing? What am I doing?
It takes most of that cash just to weaponize it with free agents
Ovi can continue to be outrageous
And I’ll spend some of my patience
Cause I only pay for a place that welcomes that engagement
Then I could give my current roster the remainder
Just hand it to me and I’ll keep you out of danger
You really love this team?
Peter Laviolette:
Yes.
Ted Leonsis:
Well, I digress
You’re now successful in Washington Cap Space!
Peter Laviolette:
Yo!
With 96 million, I’d be more than a civilian
Give the team colour more of that vermilion
These players are as versatile and agile as a reptilian
Skating on the ice like they’re dancing in a cotillion
Alex Ovechkin:
What?
Peter Laviolette:
I don’t run out of style
Alex Ovechkin:
What?
Peter Laviolette:
We got our financial guile
Check out how it compiles
Alex Ovechkin:
What?!
Peter Laviolette:
So what about the Wild?
Alex Ovechkin:
What?
Peter Laviolette:
Go and tell the Isles
that a while is a while!
Company:
OOOH!
Peter Laviolette:
I'll cash my ticket and picket
Invest in no mess
Never lose my focus till the
Team takes notice
And you know this, man!
I'll never sleep
Because the state has a
Million promises for me to
Keep!
Rasmus Sandin:
You are so cute!
Peter Laviolette:
I was just thinking off the top of my head.
Ted Leonsis:
96 mill. Go.
Rasmus Sandin:
If I had that money
You'd never see me again
Ted Leonsis:
Damn, we only jokin’
Stay broke, then!
Rasmus Sandin:
I'll be a Maple Leaf
Prove I’m worth a shot
Get back my roster spot
Ted Leonsis, Rasmus Sandin, Brian MacLellan together (Brian MacLellan 2X Ted Leonsis 2X)
Brian MacLellan:
For real, though,
Imagine having the jackpot we got
Going down the ice like a slapshot
From the blueline
And no symphony of injury history
Rasmus Sandin:
If I had that money
You'll wonder where I've been
I'll be a Maple Leaf
See you around
If I had that money,
you won't see a lot of me!
Ted Leonsis:
It's silly when we get into these crazy wack conclusions
You really want some bread
Then don’t submit to your delusions, I can make you brand new and come through
With the 96 mill I know precisely what to do
All Together:
Fans:
96,000,000
Nicklas Backstrom:
I have to stay
Community:
96,000,000
Nicklas Backstrom:
I have to stay
John Carlson:
Not going anywhere
Ted Leonsis/John Carlson
I have to stay
Fans:
Why-hoo!
Company:
Check one two three
Fans:
And with the Dollah Dollah
Fans:
with 96 g's
We get to hollah hollah
Between you and me
We rock the hot Impala
Community:
Why-hoo!
All Together:
Rasmus Sandin:
I'll be a Maple Leaf,
See you around!
Around!
Brian MacLellan:
For real, though,
Imagine having the jackpot we got
Going down the ice like a slapshot
From the blueline
And no symphony of injury history
Ooh, whoa, ho!
Company:
Why-hoo!
With 96 mill
Fans:
We movin' on
Tomorrah
Fans:
Out in Beverly Hills
We rock the hot Impala,
Fans:
The drugs and pills
We drop the mama,drama
We stop at the Bahamas!
Why-oh!
We drink pina coladas
Shop with everything we got
Why-oh!
Drop it like it's hot!
Who-aoo!
Company:
Who-aoo!
Rasmus Sandin:
I'll be a Maple Leaf!
Company:
Who-aoo!
Ted Leonsis/Brian MacLellan/Peter Laviolette
We could pay off the debts we owe!
Company:
Who-aoo!
Rasmus Sandin/Nicklas Backstrom/John Carlson:
We could tell everyone we know!
Company:
Who-aoo!
Ted Leonsis:
I could own a great team and go
Company:
Who-aoo!
Brian MacLellan/Ted Leonsis:
We'd be swimmin’ in dough, yo
Company:
Who-aoo!
Fans::
No tip-toein’
We'll get the dough 'n'
Company:
Whoa
Once we get goin’
We never gonna stop
Tip-toein'
We'll get the dough n'
Once we get goin',
We're never gonna
Ninety six million!
We'll get the dough 'n
Ninety-six milion
Once we get goin'
Ninety-six thousand!
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