Philly would never make a trade with us, especially including one of their stars

So many things wrong with this. Leaves them with no salary room or extra skaters first of all.

Second, the trade with Ottawa doesn't make a ton of sense for the penguins(ignoring if its a fair deal or not)

philly wouldn't not only trade the penguins simmonds but retain salary too for many reasons.
1.they plan on also competing this year, that is a double whammy helping a divisional opponent and making their team worse.
2.hated rival, they wouldn't even help the pens by giving them mark strait directly a few years ago