Good post, solid reasoning, quality explanation
Probably still won’t be good enough for the Leafs fan,
but he was just trolling anyways
Nope, this would be perfect. Whenever I'm feeling dow about the Leafs, I always remember there's still the Sabres who have it worse. You've been stuck in a perpetual rebuild for decades at this point and it's always hilarious to see what new and exciting way you'll fumble it this time.
You spent more than a decade trying to add top pairing defensemen with multiple high 1st rounders to find one. In 2012 you draft Myers, who goes on to win the Calder and looks like a surefire #1D. Except, rather than improving from his rookie season like most players do, he actually gets progressively worse because he plays on the Sabres. You get a second chance by trading him for a 6th overall defenseman pick in Bogosian, who eventually becomes a bottom pairing D. You draft Zadorov 14th, who eventually leaves and never becomes anything more than a fringe 2nd pair guy. You draft Risto 8th overall and he starts his career well on the trajectory of becoming the #1RD you thought you had in Myers, but like Myers he too gets progressively worse on the Sabres. What does it take for you to finally land the #1D you've been looking for? Two years where you're awful enough to land the 1st overall pick in drafts with franchise D at the top. You finally end up with the D you've been seeking for over a decade, because not even the Sabres can fumble a first overall pick.
You spend a multitude of high draft picks trying to land a winger, with AHL level Alex Nylander being the highest of the bunch for years. Of course the draft was never going to work for you, but you end up landing your best winger in a decade when you acquire Jeff Skinner. Then, you find a way to fumble that by signing him to an absurd contract he never came close to living up to. Eventually though, you start to have guys like Tuch, Peterka, etc. start to filter in and you finally have a half decent group of wingers, even despite other absurd signings like Okposo along the way.
You also spend the better part of a decade trying to add top centers with multiple high draft picks to do so. You use a 12th on Grigorenko, a 2nd overall pick on Reinhart, an 8th on Middelstadt, as well as a multitude of other high picks who never live up to the hype. To finally land the 1C you've been looking for, you have to be awful enough to land the 2nd overall pick in a draft with two generational centers. So the Sabres ask, "How are we going to **** this one up?", eventually pushing him out of town because they wouldn't allow him to get the surgery he wanted for his injury. He leaves for VGK, gets the surgery, and wins the cup in his first full year with the Knights. Lady luck would swing your way at one point though when you were able to land ROR in a trade, another legit 1C, only to push him away and watch him become a Selke + Conn Smythe + cup winner on the Blues. You did however land Thompson in the ROR trade, who became a top 10 C seemingly overnight and signed a sweetheart deal, while also landing a legit 2C in Cozens with the 6th overall pick. Leafs fans start to sweat a bit...
It's finally starting to look like all the pieces are in place except for in net, when seemingly out of nowhere Ullmark puts together an amazing season on a ****ty Sabres team. Can't have that though, we'll just let him walk and sign a goalie tandem consisting of the Jets backup and 40 year old Craig Anderson. Despite finally having the pieces to put together a regular season where they're a top 3 offensive team, they still manage to miss the playoffs because their goaltending and defense is awful. Meanwhile, Ullmark goes on to win the Vezina.
Now they enter this season with a boatload of cap and an embarrassment of riches asset wise. They make improvements to the D core and Leafs fans are finally thinking, "****, they can't possibly **** this one up can they?" Until you hear Sabres fans are going into the season with a 20 year old 7th round pick who's fresh out of university as their starter, so they can have that extra cap room for... something more important I guess?
And Leafs nation breathes a collective sigh of relief, knowing that although we've been a laughingstock for a long time as well, at least we're not "the" laughingstock.