Bobcat’s Post Game Notes, Game 2
Jackets lose, 5-2 against the Tampa Bay Lightning.
-The first home game of the season. Against the reigning, defending Eastern Conference champions. I don’t know what to expect.
-Since this game is being broadcast on the NHL Network, I can’t watch it on ESPN+. Fortunately, we have the radio broadcast on 97.1 The Fan! I get to hear Bob again! Based.
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HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERE’S JOHNNY! JOHNATHAN “ICE HOCKEY” GAUDREAU SCORES HIS FIRST GOAL AS A COLUMBUS BLUE JACKET, AND THE ROOF COMES OFF THE PLACE!! WE’RE UP 1-0!
-Daniil Tarasov absolutely ROBS Victor Hedman glove-side to keep the score 1-0. Enjoy your stay at Scary Tarry’s House of Horrors!
-Cole Sillinger gets sent off for interference, and that leads to the most eventful penalty kill of this short season. Robbie and Sean find themselves with a golden chance to put us up 2-0, but Vasilevskiy robs us blind. Then, 30 seconds later, the Lightning have their own scoring chance, and Tarry makes a great save of his own. Mission… successful? I mean, we didn’t get scored on…
-Justin Danforth gets called for holding, and that leads to noted c*ckface Corey Perry getting a tip-in past Dani to tie us up.
-And then after that, Steven Stamkos takes a shot that gets a rebound that Adam Boqvist kicks away… straight into the net. Oof.
-ALL ABOARD THE GUS BUS! Gustav Nyquist scores his first goal of the year on a 2-on-1!
-Ross Colton scores to make it 3-2, and the first period fades out.
-The second period was rather boring aside from Cal Foote wristing one by Tarry to make it 4-2. Looks like we used up all of our fire in the first period.
-Steven Stamkos gets a deflection in. 5-2. God. F*cking.
DAMMIT.
-At least we have a slightly mediocre team in the Blues next? That’s something to look forward to, maybe…?
(insert cool transition here)
Bobcat’s Post Game Notes, Game 3
Jackets lose, score doesn’t matter to the St. Louis Blues.
-Still can’t watch the games on ESPN+, Blues games are blacked out in my area. I will never understand the point of local blackouts. Just let us watch the games, goddammit!
-On another note, the NHL app has made listening to the games on the radio is a lot more of a pain in the ass. Last year, you could tap the headphones icon on the top right of your screen, and it gives you a list of the games that day to listen to. Now, you have to go into the scores tab, tap the bar that says “Listen to Tonight’s Games!” At the top of the screen, and it leads you into a section of the WEBSITE that you can’t tab out, lest the stream stops. Why, NHL?
-Looking at the lineups for tonight, I see we’re running a top line of Gaudreau - Jenner - Danforth? That’s an odd choice, but I’m curious to see how it’ll turn out…
-The King of Rock and Roll has returned to the throne! Elvis is back from sickness. Can we PLEASE have a good game? Please? Two straight 4+ goal games from Tarry has me frustrated.
-I hear the Enterprise Center DJ playing “For Those About To Rock (We Salute You)” by AC/DC over the PA. Is that supposed to be disrespect?
-Cole Sillinger has been taking more penalties than what I would consider acceptable as of late. Now he gets sent to the Bin of Sin for hooking.
-It took like 5 seconds, and Pavel Buchnevich takes a one-timer that blows by Elvis. Power play goal puts the Blues up 1-0. I’ve got a bad feeling about this…
-Why is it that we always have to go down and then the game turns into a snoozefest? F*CKING DO SOMETHING ON OFFENSE, FOR THE LOVE OF CHRIST…
-2-0 NOW. I AM THIS CLOSE TO A TOTAL BREAKDOWN.
-Okay, not as close as I was about a minute ago: the Designated Attack Goose gets us within one. Just get on a roll from here and DON’T BONER IT UP ON DEFENSE, and we’ll be fine.
-18 SECONDS LATER, AND THIS GAME IS DEAD EVEN! ROBBIE AND SEAN PROVING ONCE AGAIN THAT THEY’RE THE BEST 4TH LINERS IN THE LEAGUE! LET’S GO!!!
-Jordan Kyrou gets a breakaway, but Elvis shuts the five-hole on him. Good solid stuff, Elvis.
-By the end of the second period, the Blues were catching up with us in shot totals. Uh oh…
-Ivan Barbashev scores from a shot from the point. I hate life.
-JAKE NEIGHBOURS SCORES 20 SECONDS LATER.
F*CK THIS. WHAT THE F*CK IS THE MAJOR MALFUNCTION HERE? ALL THIS ADDING IN THE OFF-SEASON, AND THE TEAM IS SOMEHOW EVEN WORSE THAN IT WAS LAST YEAR. WE HAVE GIVEN UP FOURTEEN GOALS AND A -9 GOAL DIFFERENTIAL IN
T H R E E G A M E S . I CANNOT STRESS THAT ENOUGH. IT IS ABSOLUTELY F*CKING PATHETIC. WHAT NEEDS TO CHANGE? IS IT THE COACHING STAFF’S FAULT? DO WE NEED TO BRING IN MORE DEFENSEMEN? DO WE NEED TO TRADE SOMEBODY!? WHAT THE F*CK!????
THE ONLY THING I CAN THINK OF TO HELP IS TO SWITCH AROUND THE DEFENSIVE PAIRINGS. F*CK IT: GAVRIKOV AND WERENSKI ON THE TOP PAIRING, BOQVIST ON THE THIRD, SEND JAKE BEAN TO THE SEVENTH CIRCLE OF LUCIFER’S *SSHOLE FOR ALL I CARE, THAT BALD MANLET BEHIND THE BENCH IS DEAD TO ME - I REPEAT: DEAD. TO. ME. - IF HE ROLLS OUT THAT DEFENSIVE LINEUP AGAIN.
WE ARE THREE GAMES INTO THE YEAR AND I’M ALREADY LOSING MY SANITY. PLEASE SEND HELP.
post-script: I now realize after sleeping on it for a night that I was slightly overreacting, but I am correct in the assumption that we really need some defensive help. There have been rumors flying around ACGM that Damon Severson is looking to stay in New Jersey, which that alongside Dougie Hamilton and the upcoming Simon Nemec on the right side makes the perfect window to trade for John Marino. If Marino doesn’t work, Connor Murphy is available in Chicago. Just something, ANYTHING that can help. Please.