A deal like this makes no sense at all for Ottawa. Colin White is a very useful player who is somewhat overpaid, probably by about 1mil. He doesn't hurt the team much on the cap, and he is still an important part of the roster. Trading White makes absolutely no sense unless Ottawa is getting better on the ice, which this deal definitely doesn't do.

Detroit declines.

Guskov is a regular in the KHL, he's never going to sign an ELC. The rest of your offer could possibly cover either the players or the salary retention but not both.

Detroit declines, A bunch of worthless pieces doesn't get you Fabbri and Stecher at 50% off.

Copp isn’t a true center

The Winnipeg and Detroit deals aren't any good for Minnesota. The Ottawa deal is fine, but it's uninspiring at best. Colin White isn't the solution to anything unless the problem is needing more overpaid players.

If you trade for Fabbri to play center you will be disappointed.

I know you said this tongue-in-cheek, but it also makes a great point - the absolute last thing the Wild need is an(other) overpaid player, regardless of position!

What would Shane Pinto cost the Wild?

I think it's a complete nonstarter. Trading a high end prospect for depth/picks makes absolutely no sense, trading him for a equal level prospect doesn't either because Ottawa is thinner at C than any other position. As far as established parts of the Wild roster, there's nobody that makes sense to trade Pinto for, AND makes sense for Minnesota to trade. Honestly, short of a Jack Eichel style deal, I don't think there's a player who is realistically available that would make Sense to trade Pinto for (considering what would be added in addition to Shane Pinto obviously).