Way too much
Koivu and Backes are the same (useless)

Actually, I agreed with you, but I wanna work through this one lol because now Im second guessing myself

Ok so Koivus contract for Backes and a 1st . (the 1st is to make up for the extra year on Backes' deal and the 500k extra lol)
Zucker for Heinen, Kuhlman, and Zboril (This is definitely a slight overpayment, so id say if the wild retain some salary and maybe the rbuins take out zboril its good [based on how Zucker is playing] )...

Again, its not perfect, but not terrible!

I say take kuhlman off, not zboril. The bruins have good defensive prospect depth. Kuhlman is a good forward that Cassidy likes. If it means giving a pick instead, I would do that. Make the trade zucker for heinen, zboril, and a 5th. I feel thats fair.
And i dont see either team moving backes or koivu. Both need to waive their NMCs, I dont see either doing so.

Minny likely declines. They can get a decent package for Zucker. 1st/prospect. = 1st/Zboril. They can get a 4th-6th for Koivu at the deadline, = Kuhlman, or just let his contract expire. They end up better off than taking on Backes for another year. Heinen does not tip the scales to force their hand. Neither he or Zboril have the kind of trade value you think they are going to carry.

Bruins decline as well. They have better options available.

Really benefits neither team.

Wild are only getting a slightly bigger return than they could for taking on Backes. Not worth it.

The concept of Heinen/Zboril/5th would be like the Wild offering Victor Rask/Belepido/5th for Heinen. Downgrade at forward a one time prospect that has fallen and late pick. No interest. Might be different if Zucker was on an expiring deal. He isn’t. Another 2 years remaining.

Boston does not get the true RW they really need and downgrade at 3C by moving Coyle to RW and replacing him with Koivu.

Worse things could happen. But so could better, a lot better.

In all fairness, Backes would likely waive it to go home. Idk about Koivu, but im guessing he would to be on a cup contender